Should we stay or go

Since Josh and I started dating we have discussed moving to another state.  About a year ago we narrowed the state down to Texas, the Austin area.  For the last year we have seriously discussed moving, to the point of even telling most of our family and friends, looking at houses and jobs, and pricing out the move.  As you can imagine most of our family was not happy when hearing the news and are hoping we decide not to go!  This is such a huge decision and I can’t even imagine how to decide.  There are pros and cons for staying and going.  My question is how the heck do we decide?  Is raising the girls in a better area going to outweigh moving them from all of their family?  Will they ever resent us?  Will my Mom ever forgive me?  Can someone please help me? 

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10 thoughts on “Should we stay or go

  1. We have been thinking of moving to Texas too. I always say no one else is going to suffer but you if you don’t do the things you dream of doing. Go for it! We will our timeline is 1-4 years due to my hubbies pension.

  2. Why do you want to move? Just for something new? As someone who lives far from family and raising two young children – it is HARD. I never get a break, it’s difficult to trust babysitters with your little ones, so we really only have one person we trust to watch our kids here. Thanksgiving and Christmas are very, very quiet, and although I love spending the time with just the hubby and the girls, it can be pretty lonely – it’s cost-prohibitive to travel during those times. We have yet to take an actual family “vacation” because all our vacation time is spent visiting family, since we want our girls to have relationships with their grandparents. The only friends I have are members of the MOMS Club I joined. All that being said, hubby and I do plan to move as well in the next few years, and not likely any closer to family. We’re moving for a different lifestyle (rural vs. suburban), lower cost of living, and job opportunities. While we could have a rural lifestyle living closer to family, the cost of living would remain the same and job opportunities would be non-existent. So I think there are some issues that take priority, but for me, all things being equal, I’d want to be near family.

    • A few different reasons. Neither of us feel a connection to CT other than my family and friends. Josh didn’t really grow up here and all of his family live in another state. We would prefer a warm weather climate and will not miss the snow! It’s hard to get ahead in CT. The cost of living here is through the roof and it really doesn’t have much to offer. All of the things that you listed are the concerns that I have.

  3. When it comes to moving you’ve got to have ‘push’ and ‘pull’. The ‘push’ is what makes you want to leave your current home. The ‘pull’ is what pulls you to Texax, in this case. I suggest making a list of pushes and pulls!
    Good luck!

  4. Coretta… I grew up in Los Angeles and all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents were all in Peru or Argentina… in my first marriage, I moved from LA to Seattle with my family (my husband was cheating on me-a way to get him away from the women)… my sons grew up without their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents… today I am married to a wonderful man and we have a daughter who is being raised in the same city as most of her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents… granted I can think of lovelier places to live, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Now mind you … you have to have a fabulous family as my husband’s, which helps tremendously… I can’t go back in time for my boys (who are not that close to my family) … BUT … I would not change a thing!! I see the joy in my daughter’s face when she is with family and it makes it seem as if we live in paradise!! Grace, peace and blessings… Carla

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